@minego @balrogboogie hey! You're two white seemingly cis men.

Could you maybe look at / talk about the #CheckYourBoys stuff? I feel like it's along that same line, and I think you'll find my toots on that hashtag.

@maloki @balrogboogie I don't feel like I'm particularly eloquent when talking about stuff like that, but I do think it is important. I'll take a look. Feel free to remind me if I'm not fast. I am trying to pay some attention to work right now.

@maloki I need to think about this. The video was very good. I must h ave missed your original post with it.

I generally try not to associate with people who are okay with even subtle sexism, but if I think about it there are cases where it is hard to avoid and I'm not great with confrontation, so I don't always call people out for it when I should.

@Julia we seriously suck

@moshtodon yea, there seems to be no room for empathy in that particular worldview, which is just...idk, i don't want any part of a philosophy that doesn't include empathy

@balrogboogie this is why I kept writing haha I think we all have our problems and it's our own problems, but making things easier to others might also do things easier for ourselves.

And again, not taking anything personally seems the solution to me. If you have a problem with me, it's not that *I* don't like you, it's about *you* not being able to deal with something about me, so I have the option to help you solve this issue (instead of being a jerk or whatever).

@balrogboogie This is why I don't like to take things personally. What Susie says about Sally, says more of Susie than of Sally.

If Sally gets offended it's her problem, but Susie could be more responsible and she probably should have a moral obligation to be as practically possible kind when she talks. If Susie doesn't like anything about Sally, Susie has problem too because she can't deal with something about Sally. But we must keep the focus on the problems>ppl

@moshtodon this is where we differ, I think. I agree with your first sentence, and I personally try not to take offense when I can. However, I try not to put that assumption on others. If Bob offends Alice, I don't think "well that's Alice's problem, but maybe Bob should be a little nicer." IMO that is projecting my own beliefs onto Alice, and I don't like to do that. I tend to think "Bob shouldn't be a dick," and stop there

@balrogboogie sure, totally agree but as I said, what Bob says about Alice, says more about Bob than Alice

Of course we shouldn't assume everyone thinks this way (sadly), but when I'm Alice, I try not to make this thing about *me*, but about some imagine Bob has about me and he can't deal with.

If I were Bob... well, I think I'm never Bob, I try to differentiate people from actions. So I might dislike something about someone, but not that someone

Sorry for long txt